


Donuts and Dumpster Diving

by callboxkat



Category: Sanders Sides, Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Deceit just wants to browse magic supplies in peace, Gen, Giant/Tiny, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Virgil just wanted some donuts, borrower Virgil, but Remus is a trash man at heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 07:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21267269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callboxkat/pseuds/callboxkat
Summary: Based on the prompts “Why do you smell like a dumpster? And if you say you were dumpster diving, I swear to god--” and “You lost them? How do you lose a whole person?"Sent by @enby-phoenix on tumblr, from a prompt list by @idreaminelectricblue





	Donuts and Dumpster Diving

Dee was just minding his own business, sitting at home and browsing a catalog of magic trick supplies on the internet, when he heard the front door opening. Normally this would be unremarkable—one of his roommates, Remus, came and went all the time—but in with him rolled a stench so foul that Dee’s eyes started watering, and he gagged.

Remus walked into the room, acting for all the world like nothing was wrong. But the stench and the state of his clothes said otherwise.

“Why do you smell like a dumpster?” Dee asked. “And if you say you were dumpster diving again, I swear to god—”

“I had a reason this time!” Remus protested. He looked upset at the accusation, but he was altogether too happy to be covered in dirt, garbage, and slime of a questionable origin.

“Oh, really? I definitely believe you. What reason might that be?” Dee folded his arms, regarding Remus with one eyebrow raised, the brim of his hat low over his eyes.

“Ah… well, see, Virgil and I went out to get donuts, and… I _might_ have… lost Virgil. Briefly. It _barely_ counts. Honestly, don’t even worry about it. It’s fine.”

Virgil was Dee’s other roommate. He was… unusual, to say the least. And not just because he dressed like he was trapped in his 2008 emo phase. He was, as he called himself, a borrower, a race of beings who were all but completely secret from humans (except, obviously, for Virgil himself. He was an exception). Virgil looked pretty much human, except for one thing: he was a grand total of four inches tall.

Dee didn’t have a lot of friends, so naturally, he was more than a little protective of the ones he did have. Especially given Virgil’s small size. So, when he heard Remus’s confession, Dee was immediately on his feet, staring at his human roommate with wide eyes. “You_ lost_ him? How do you lose a whole person?”

Remus held up a finger, tilting his head to one side. “Okay, first of all, he is a very _small_ person. You could lose him in _all sorts_ of places! Like in the—”

“Okay, okay, you’ve made your point,” Deceit snapped, before Remus could launch into what he was sure would be a list of increasingly ridiculous, dangerous, and gory scenarios.

“Garbage disposal,” Remus whispered, because he didn’t know when to stop.

Dee groaned. “Well, did you at least _find_ him? Is he _okay?”_

“Heck yeah, you worrywart, I found him!” Remus reached into the inside jacket pocket and pulled out the tiny man, who was thankfully very much alive and apparently unharmed, except that at the moment he looked absolutely _filthy_. He was covered in grime and dripping with the same slime as Remus, that mysterious substance whose identity Dee didn’t particularly want to know.

Dee’s and Virgil’s eyes met. Virgil’s expression was livid.

“See?” Remus said cheerfully. “He’s fine!”

“Yes… I can see that,” Dee replied dryly, reaching forward to take Virgil from his roommate. Virgil eagerly stepped forward onto his much cleaner hand, and Dee was suddenly very glad for his signature yellow gloves. They saved his hands from that mystery garbage sludge, even if he’d have to buy some new ones after this. “What even happened?” he asked, purposefully directing the question at Virgil. Remus looked vaguely affronted.

“What do you think?” Virgil grumbled. “We were walking, on our way to get some donuts, when this idiot saw some dumb thing in a dumpster that he just _had_ to have.”

“It was this super rusty, dented old cheese grater,” Remus justified. “It looked like something out of a horror movie! You’d understand if you’d seen it.”

“I’m sure.”

Virgil pulled off his jacket in a futile attempt to rid himself of some of the slime. “He leaned over to get it, even though I told him it was a stupid idea,” he said. “And of course, I fell out of his pocket, into the dumpster.” He glared at Remus again. “That is _not_ how I wanted to spend my afternoon, by the way.” He turned back to Dee. “No donuts, drowning in garbage, and he didn’t even get the freaking cheese grater.”

“It fell apart when I picked it up,” Remus explained sadly.

Dee wordlessly pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gave it to Virgil, who was so dwarfed by the fabric that he could wear it like a banana-colored ghost costume if he really wanted to. The small man made a grateful sound in his throat and started scrubbing at the dirt on himself. He was going to need a bath—or ten—and some donuts to make up for this.

“How about next time you decide to go dumpster diving,” Dee sighed, looking back at Remus, “You leave Virgil at home?”


End file.
